Soo far from gone...

I'd like to disapear... just evaporate into nothingness... that would be euphoric, perfect, am I being melowdramatic? no! Fuck you to the ones who say I cant do this! Fuck you to those who say I'm thin enought! Fuck you too the ones who called me fat my entire life! & Fuck you asswholes who think I need to be put into a shrink ward...

see that ^^ up there ^^ thats me...
ATM because... I fucked up. I feel
worthless. I feel soo much self hate
I was doing soo well. stayed under
300 cals... up until the boyfriend...
and the movies... I still managed...

until I got home. Hungry
I thought
just a salad...
I thought
Just a wrap
I thought
Just more salad
I thought
a muffin?
I thought
okay, just half...
I thought...
and now... Its too late

I hate my body, I hate this...
No skinny girls eat that junk!
& if they do its just so they
can purge after... By the time
I realized my damadge... it
was too late... :(

His sisters a size 3 btw...
proly less in some cloths...
I wana be a 3... I wana be
perfect. I wana be thin, fit
healthy... not fat, out of shape
ugly... Id be perfect if I was
not fat... cuz I'll admit it...

I have the perfect smile soo many
would kill for. Cept Mia likes to
take the brightness away... My
jaw and cheek bones are better
than any models out there! But
would be better withought the
extra fat on my face... :( help...

Skinny Girl Plan (my name for it)
Wednesday - Sunday

Veggies!
Fruit! (low cal low sugar)

Max 500 cals a day

simple as that...
I will aim for 300
most days... lots
of cal shifting tho

wish me luck...

I'll update my weight on the 14th

I promise!